OM

OM

I am brahman

I only appeared as though as a jiva due to error and appeared to undergo transformations in time. In reality I am changeless. Now I appear as this bhakta praying to my own nature as bhagavan. 

OM

The Night of the Brahmastra

The night drew tight her fist; the heavens turned.
No star would look on me; I hid in shame.
Then Kama came, red-handed, crowned with scorn,
And drove me face-first into begging dust.

O depth of depths! My name was filth and loss.
I was a thing unfit to stand or speak.
My shield lay split; my blade forgot its truth.
I crawled, I wept, I cursed my very breath.

I loathed myself. The worms seemed nobler far.
The ground rose high; I lay beneath the low.
Each breath confessed my smallness and my stain.
The wheel rolled on and did not know my name.

No god replied. No dawn would own my cry.
Hope itself turned its face and walked away.
I was undone, unworthy even of fall—
For falling needs a height I did not have.

And there—
Where nothing else would answer,
Where even despair lay spent—
A stillness stood, stark, unsparing, bare.

My Teacher stood within that wordless hush.
He spoke no word; yet all instruction held.
He offered no escape, no promised light—
Only the truth that one last cut remained.

I took the final edge—unborn, uncaused,
Ajati-vada, keen before all time—
Not with hope,
Not with courage,
But because no other thing was left to do.

I did not strike at Kama, nor at self.
I cut the lie that said I was the maker,
That I had borne this world or held its weight.

The cut was clean.
The cut was sufficient.
That stroke itself was Brahmastra entire.

No fire followed.
No echo came.

And in that same plain instant,
Chains failed to close.
No karma found a place to stand.
The wheel stood still for lack of birth.

Kama stood emptied—
Not slain, but finished.

Only then—
Not joy, but breath returned.
Not triumph, but a great unburdening.

From dust I rose, not lifted, but restored.
My kingdom—long usurped—came back to me:
Not land nor throne, but sovereign inner ground,
Where thought obeys and peace stands sentinel.

There was a crown, yet none could see its weight.
There was a joy, yet quiet, firm, and true.
No shout proclaimed it; happiness sufficed—
A settled sun that does not need to blaze.

Now walk I soft upon the narrow rope,
High o’er the dust and clamor of the world.
I rule my step; I answer to the real.
No pride attends me; gratitude alone.

The night did not exalt me—
It returned me to myself.

The fall was dream.
The Teacher stood.
I woke.

The world itself was never born at all.

Borrowed Garments

 

Borrowed Garments

I am a wanderer—
yet still my feet at eventide
return unto the selfsame threshold,
as doth a river,
which though it roam by winding banks
forgets not whence it sprang.

Each day I eat of what doth find me,
as birds that neither sow nor store,
though heaven knows my name
and lays its portion
ever in the same outstretched hand.
I sit with naught held forth,
and yet become the board
where many a silent hunger meets.

I live by what doth come—
by season, weather, hap, and grace—
and still the furrows meet the plough,
the lamps are lit at fall of dusk,
the door unbars when need is ripe.
I keep no reckoning of what I owe,
yet all my hours spend themselves
in quiet service,
as fire gives warmth
and counts it not a gift.

I leave no mark upon the road,
and yet the road grows long behind me.

They say the renouncer owneth naught—
then name me this:
what owns the sky,
that wears all hues
and keeps not one?
I pass through rooms and years
as players pass through borrowed garb,
nor take the costume for the flesh,
nor feel compelled
to lay it down.

Kaupinavantam khalu bhagyavantam

I am a sanyasi of course

Of course I take bhiksha each day , it happens to be at the same home

Of course I sit expectationless, same time meeeting a million expectatations

Of course I live off what comes by luck, same time doing all that is to be done

I dont have any duties, Same time performing duties unlimited

I am the non doer, but everything appears to be done

Who said I am not sanyasi, of course I am

Wearing a grhsta costume

OM

Shakti Worship

 It is not possible to worship ambika, unless ambika blesses the person to be able to worship her truly

The worship of ambika is a fortune that is available to too few

But that is not due to the lack of blessings of the mother

Mothers blessing is always here

But ambikas blessings are partaken only by jivas who have gained innumerable merits that make them capable of absorbing the glorious blessings in a manner where they end up as bhakta

Others on the other hand get great material benefits from worshipping the divine mother

However to be a real bhakta in the true sense, ananya bhakta, a bhakta has to gain a merit in a different form

This merit leads him to a guru, and shastra and that leads him to ananya bhakti

There are two forms of ananya bhakti

Sva svarupa anusandhanam is how lord shankara describes

Another way is when the divine mother activates the bhakta within to be her son and worship her in the many innumerable ways 

I am that divine child , one of the divine children of mother bhuvaneswari herself

I am inclined to worship her purely due to the inner workings of the guru 

Swami paramarthananda, swami dayananda, swami omkarananda, swamini ji

I am working the divine ways due to their blessings I am 

I am in your hands due to their hands

I am obliged in one way, inspired in another way, and consumed in yet another way in a manner of bhakti that is very unique

The proper way to worship the mother is written as shastra

The inspirational way is also to consider all actions as the worship in itself , dharmik actions of course, as what else is worthy of offering unto the mother

The proper way to worship the mother is to offer the japa

The proper way to worship the mother is instill not just discipline but also love and care for everyone of her children and her creation

And to worry none at all about oneself and ones health or anything as that is mothers duty

The attachements to family life and family members is something that she is more than aware of, and she will never let that affect the bhakti

She will make sure the attachments dissolve into the background as nothing

All those interested in vambu just let you know

There is no joy in vambu, there is joy in ananya bhakti

OM

__PRESENT__PRESENT

Brahman

 Brahman is in the form of time, in the form of prarbdha, in the form of experiencer and the end of the body too. So its all me in these forms. I dont undergo any of these, they are appearances in me. They dont have any other reality other than me who am the substratum of these experiences, experienced and experiencer. I am the stubstratum of experiencer, experience and experienced. I am the progenitor too. I am the substratum of the progenitor too. I am. 

Meaning of I

 Meaning of I is too vast

Its the source of all that is , its pure infinite joy and happiness

Its the owner of all that is, all that is, IS the self

Its the architect of all that is, the intelligent architecture IS the self

Its the preserver and ruler of all that is, All that is ruled is by the Ruler aspect , which is the self

All the altuisitic giving and loving is the nature of this ruler , of this doer

All that is joy and humor is the nature of this being, this whole one

Fear is unkown to this ruler, in whom the laws reside and who is the law giver,

The law giver manifests as the laws themselves, the abhinna nimitta upAdana kAranam

I am this whole, there is no other 

OM