Role of ishvara

All I rely on is isvari

Laws are isvari

Vedic rituals are isvari

Prayers and giver of result of prayers is isvari

Gaurdian is isvari

When I think of isvaris form, I dont feel fear or awe

Absence of fear is due to either love or ignorance

Absnece of awe or reverence is certainly ignorance

I dont feel reverence due to anger against isvari

Anger is due to some past pyschological problem OR due to papa

Amba is still forgiving here

She only takes care of children, she alone gave this life

There is no need for anger against her

She is all loving amba, she only saves us, she only gaurds us

She alone is our mother

She only urges us to remove adharma from our lives

To her alone I seek earnest forgiveness

For all the papas I committed with ignorance

I pray and fall on her feet to remove the effects of those

Permanently as she is the divine mother

Core problem is a split personality that evolved due to adharmic actions

I acted as though I have separate set of values and hence am fighting within myself

I really have to choose one set of values that I ascribe to

Can I really enjoy this in hellish realms without any value

Pain is real, pain is suffering, suffering is real

This means I do value my actual values of dharma

I even have a love for dharma

A love for being for wholeness

So this values I value

So in reality there is no two