Maya and brahman

Maya has no existence of its own.

Due its own adhyasa shakti , maya superimposes existence which is the svarupa of brahman, onto itself, so it has this borrowed superimposed existence, which is beginingless superimposition that gives it existence begininglessly.

Now with this existence maya makes brahman appear as nimitta karanam intelligent cause, and upadana karanam or material cause, both are this brahman due to the anirvachaniya maya.

Now when I say I am, there is already adhyasa of antakarana with brahman for jiva, and with maya for isvara.

When bhagavan projects the universe bhagavan who is pure brahman resorts to this maya shakti, this resorting in itself is adhyasa this is very well known to bhagavan, but knowing thus already he is resorting and projecting the universe and sustaining and resolving. He even knows that his maya has no real existence of its own either and yet its shakti he is able to use to resort to product a similar anirvachaniya jagat as well at the same time. So him asserting like in shruti the fact of manifestation maintenance and resolution does in no way make the creation a real creation, it remains adhyasa in and through all the way adhyasa alone, no other at all at any moment ever. 

So with this adhyasta maya he is producer, maintainer , resolver . Its all adhyasta reality never actual. 

Its mutual adhyasa, wherein the existence consciousness is appearing in maya and maya shakti is applied to brahman. 

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 Since parabrahman alone is, with or without name only parabrahman is referred, maya shakti is non separate and seemingly existent where the existence belongs to parabrahman, so here parabrahman becomes as though shaktiman, as shaktiman parabrahman he has maya shakti he or she is isvara isvari

same maya shakti makes parabrahman appear as individual jiva doing punya papa

same maya shakti is manifest as jada jagat for jiva to experience and isvari to govern and rule overwhen I say wood, wood is a manifestation of parabrahman, parabrahman gains infinite manifesting power, that is maya shakti of parabrahman, as an object parabrahman always has shakti, as subject always with shakti, never without shakti, its truth if you see is pure chit alone, pure honey like chit, no name or form or changes or modification, hence the name and form and rulership over them is a while being inherent and non separate cannot be taken as ultimately the svarupa, the svarupa is just pure chit, so maya is non separate from parabrahman, begininglessly , but not part of its svarupa begininglessly

Nidhidhyasana

The name and form, word and meaning , when we say IS, isness refers to consciousness itself, but with name and form, when in reality consciousness is nameless and formless on its own, but when we refer to consciousness with name and form, it does not become namy formy, it remains nameless and formless, the name and form do not stick to it, the name and form has no existence of its own, hence we say consciousness is appearing with name and form, which in itself has no existence of its own, hence name and form is neither existent, nor non existent given it appears with consciousness, not existent, given it has no existence of its own. The resultant learning is that atma in itself is limitless and non dual, while name and form appearing with atma is what makes atma appear as an experience experiencer duality and as an limited experiencer or experience, hence this appearance has to be mithya, as it has no existence of its own, atma is not appearing, atma is not experiencing, but there is a mithya appearance and a mithya experiencer, it is with name and form that atma appears or experiences, so that experiencing and experiencer are mithya, name and form sahita atma, it is not atmas appearance or atmas experience it is the name and forms appearance and experience, that name and form which has no existence of its own, upadhi that is not self existent. So when I see a name and form, and I see myself as seer of name and form, the upadhi is dependent on me for isness, same for experiencer upadhi, so does not exist in me, exists depending on me, has no existence of its own, is as good as non existent hence. It does not exist in me, does not exist separate from me, appears to exist with me as its substratum. Hence, maya cannot be counted as another entity there is no such entity to count other than me. 

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Brahman

Brahman is both shuddha chaitanyam in sushupti, the same shuddha chaitanyam appears as a dream does, as jagat kAranam brahman, and kAryam brahman in what makes it a waking state or a dream state, just like jewels etc are gold. So even this waking dream remain as non dual gold alone, or water alone, but the status of this waking state is mithya only. In this mithya state alone we have autism etc and all the worries and so on. 

With this knowledge I can operate in this mithya jagat within the laws here, by undertaking karma etc that can potentially neutralize prarabdha and mitigate the damage it may cause as a result. 

Japa yagna is one such yagna, vedanta mananam is also going to lend some punya phalam for sure. I will use this for loka kshemam and within that I can say my daughter is my loka. Aham brahmasmi. Daughter is brahman, she means the world to me, she is my loka. Hence whatever I do for loka kshemam will most certainly bless her to the maximum possible extent. OM tat sat.

__PRESENT__PRESENT

 I ask forgivness for saying your name as likely I am not worthy of it

I ask forginvess for learning a mantra and chanting as likley i do not desrve that

I ask forgivness for even considering myself as pure satchitananda as you have not given me permission to do so

Even if I am that, I will not claim that, as I am not being given the title of deserving

OM

 Om mother

You are the lord of the universe, empress the queen

From your iccha shakti every leaf moves

You have decided to have your daughter prarthana be born with a brain divergence

Its your wish and desire based on some karma

Your desire is never compassionate alone 

Its also just

So you are defntly punishing us for a past crime

We seek thy forgiveness as a family

We seek thy forgiveness as a family

We seek thy forgiveness as a family

We are zeroes and we lack everything

We are zeroes we lack everything

We dont have the wherewhithal to even ask forgiveness

So with your permission asking forgivenesss for using your power to ask forgiveness

We are neecha for sure for the crimes we had erstwhile commited

We are neecha for sure for the worst beings we were in the past janmas

We are neecha in your view also, you have placed us on the worst place

And we deserve this place as its our own karma you've reminded us of our place

Our place is horrible we accept this lowliness

We are the lowliest of creatures , we are i know as per your wish worthy of societal lowliness

and looked down upon by everyone 

We will stay that way i am sorry for breathing and making your creation dirty

My breath is a dirt that has stained you, our family is a blot on your name

I have nothing more to say as one more word will shame you so forgive us a inifinte times

For we are not even worth forgiveness

OM  

Hearbreak

 She is a piece of my heart

Her life is precious

Her breath, her voice, her smile, her love

Her expectation filled eyes full of joy of living

Her unending cuteness, her every little joyous step

I love her deeply 

I do not mind if ultimate truth is she is not mine or me

In this body and mind I am father

And in this body I care for her deeply 

I cannot see her as a person without expression

I cannot see her as having been born not human

Her human birth is always divine 

No matter what her mental shape

Isvara is me and knows my tears

and supports them

And the future is not my making but ours

And we shall sustain and maybe

Just a little maybe

A glimmer remains

OM

Non Duality

Atma is not just witness consciousness - its isvara the mother and father of the universe where maya shakti is non separate from atma. With non separate maya shakti isvara atma is the projector, maintainer and resolver of the universe that is jagat otherwise called as isvara alone appears as all three, but is one non dual gold that never became all three, that gold is atma I, now there cannot be any other. 

Remove the name and form intellectually; how by knowing that its status as experiencer is mithya status, its status as experienced is mithya status, in reality it is neither. It is super waker that is I

Maya shakti is not projected on atma, rather it is always present in atma non separate from atma

It is mithya

__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT

Mookambika darshanam

Mookambika is the goddess of speech and knowledge. While knowledge is any kind of knowledge, self knowledge is said to be the highest form of knowledge.  It is gained by exposure to guru vedanta pramana - via shravanam, mananam, nidhidhyasana, and when there is relevant qualifications, person gains moksa- where the individuality resolves into brahman. Brahman is described by shastra even thought it cannot be described as an object of knowledge, it is described via mahavakya onness of isvara and jiva. Isvaras blessings leads to individual I beings resolved into universal I , this is the blessing of mookambika. Prarabdha from here on is mithya, it is a vyavaharic expression of mystical maya.

Mookambika sharanam

 Atma is brahman the eka vastu. Whatever be the stand point only eka vastu is there.

From my own standpoint I am one without a second and boundless. Limitless.

There is no other real standpoint. There can be other ajnani standpoints, but that is ajnanam. That I alone am is the only real standpoint. Here isvara is none other than I. Even if this statement is coming via an inferior much much inifintely inferior upadhi, still its the truth, that I am alone isvara. The upadhi of creator and presver and resolver and shakti is a upadhi , and its not my svarupa. My svarupa is nirguna, sat , chit, anantam. But even then I experience attachement at an upadhi level. When father role comes, then there is attachement and expectations and desires. These are habitual to the role. 

The understanding is that the role need not be given up - the role needs to be seen in a new light. The role is seen as mithya within the perview of an isvara upadhi, shakti upadhi. So we have to see roles and duties in light of the mother . Here in terms of truth I am the truth of the mother, and her children, I am both karana and karya.  Rather they are both me, non separate from me. They are not other than me. So I am vivarta upadana karana. They are parinami upadana karana and karya respectively. The mother is vivarta upadana karana satyam + mithya maya parinami upadana karana. Her karana form undergoes change partly to become visnu etc. brahma etc. and jiva forms. And here the transcendental form remains unchanged (in prapancha state, it resolves into unmanifest state in pralaya). 

So the upadhi bheda is very much there between me and mother. 

Now the role of father needs to be redfined as a responsibility assigned by the mother to execute her will of creation , preservation and resolution . In which the role of preservation or visnu predominates. 

So in terms of attachement to son and daughter - let there me rather attachement to universal mother. This is a safe and real attachement. This attachement can be practiced and allowed, its a permanent and harmless in fact beneficial attachement. Here without question I play the role assigned by the mother whatever it may be. That is the greatness of this attachement, where I dont have demands, rather I only ask for duties, what is to be done, I do. 

So now I dont have individual desires, I desire what mother desires. OM. Here I dont need to give up anything, the attachement to mother means I and mother together shower love upon the universe and its beings, who she loves infinitely, while fairly administering it. 

What role does ajnana removal have here. Here the removal of ajnana is for the individual. Even in eka jiva vada, I can say that when ajnana is removed, by highest jnana upadhi of isvara continues and I as a karya continues as an agent of this upadhi. And its reality has already been sublated as mithya, wherein both collapse into me satyam. 

The other being are as though superimposition on me, and its my leela that I play this role. We can say leela only as its not real. 

Now questions change. Only question that remains is in the form of devotion to the mother. From day through night every waking moment, and experiencing aikyam in deep sleep. Om tat sat. 

__PRESENT

Maya is the cause for appearance of a universe and for brahman as a karana

 Atma I am brahman. Maya shakti is a cause for I appearing as a cause and effect as abhinna nimitta upAdana Karana. Just as nidra shakti is a cause of dream. Now dream is mithya, so is waking state. It is the sleeper I that am satyam. Hence waking jnani is a waking sleeper, what is day for other beings is night for jnani and what is night for other beings is the day for jnani. As in sleep state is the reality for jnani , jnani is awake as I the knower of sleep and the day is like a night time dream for jnani. 

Brahman is non dual, bheda is in terms of upAdhi

Brahman is the sat vastu, that is non dual - the difference is only in terms of upAdhi , the upAdhi is different , kArana upAdhi and kArya upadhi, thus upAdhi differences exist. Body mind complex is an upAdhi, that is kAryam and maya upAdhi is karana upAdhi, and atma is the non dual satchit that is the adhistAnam. This adhistAanam is akarta abhokta pure chit, its sAkshi chaitanyam, the chidabhasa etc are upAdhi sahita chit, where chit itself is still satchit brahman, but with upAdhi gets the name chidabhasa, isvara etc. the individual knower and the total knower isvara. As the individual knower one can know isvara , one can experience isvara, and in that experience there is the upAdhi bheda. 

Assimilation involves absorbing individuality into total

1. Individuality of body mind is an appearance within the total atma that is isvara

2. Within this total the various beings are connected by order

3. This order is all pervasive, but brahman is what even pervades the order itself, brahman pervades space itself, hence brahman atman is limitless

4. Space is in fact inside brahman

5. There is no absence for space - space IS always. Everything I see hear taste touch smell know is in space, and space is in brahman, and brahman is the sakshi. Not the active knower, rather the samanya knower the knower who doesnt need to be a knower in order to know. 

6. In this manner the darshana is of isvara all the time, as maya sahita chaitan

7. Maya is and this maya is the shakti of brahman

8. See when there is a biscuit, the biscuit has material cause and intelligent cause. Both are brahman with maya shakti

9. The name and form are within maya and hence the jagat is a product of maya

10. Here the maya is within brahman, therefore the jagat is a product of brahman as the causal isvara

11. With eka jiva vada, the sleeper I am the cause , my maya shakti has produced this jagat, just like my nidra shakti produces dream world.

12. The maya shakti is such that it is fairness and infallible. I am fair and infallible in that avatar.

13. I am mother bhuvaneshwari in that sense  

14. Bhavani tvam dase my vitara drshtim sa karuna, iti stotum vanchan kathayathi bhavani tvam iti yah, tadaiva tvam tasmai, dishasi nija sayujya padavim, mukunda brahmendra sphuta makuta neerajita padam

15. So given I am both bhakta and bhagavan, what is needed to know, nothing

16. It matters how much bhagavan wants this body to livea and do things

17. Your job essentially is to wake up and acknowledge that isvara 

18. Thereon you become the agent of that isvara

19. Whatever nataka needs to be played is played

20. Honesty with isvara is what is demanded of the nataka

21. How long is not a question as you are made intensely convictioned to the point you dont even want to state it anymore or declare it , like you dont need to declare you are male or your parents are so and so

22. It is not something to be disturbed by analysis, its the order. I know it but it need not be recalled

23.  In reality you are timelessness

24. Whatever has been given to this body has been given by I

25. I am not this body

26. What is given is as per laws of karma alone

27. Knowing that via chidabhasa is not a pre requisite to doing things 

28. Not knowing here only reason it creates a chanchalatvam and discomfort is when chidabhasa forgets the true nature of oneself as sakshi and isvara

29. If chidabhasa always is aware of its own status as sakshi then it has no problem being chidabhasa temporarily

30. Remaining as sakshi I act as chidabhasa

31. Here I am immortal , I am not identified with body mind, so the longevity is not of me, its of the body mind relative to time, I remain timeless

32. Whatever be the length is minisculy miniscule

33. Being the mother of all possiblities, this jiva itself is a myth, there is no separate jiva at all

34. Chit is temporarily expressing as this body mind self complex, chit is isvara alone , jiva is brahman

35. Chit is mistaken to take on the properties of body mind etc. chidabhasa etc. and that is what is called as jivatvam, whereas that is totally incorrect , due to ajana alone that conclusion is being made

36. This thought is not a problem I can have as many such thoughts, I just need to constantly know that the thought is about illumined and not the illuminer I

37. Its the maya within me that I experience when I am asleep

38. Due the prarabdha the maya within me creates this universe in me and wakes me up

39. And I see this world in me

40. As per this mayas order this experience part will continue

41. It continues due to prarabdha

42. Prarbdha projects certain span 

43. It is not real. So I can also take infinite lives and kalpas those are also not real. There is no need to wait for an ending either , since there was never a real begining. 

44. The mithya maya , so no real world can be projected. Its exactly like a dream, so the pereniality of a dream does not make it not a dream, here the time itself will be a dream alone,

45.   The existence of maya shakti itself is disimiessed. From maya standpoint it can point to anything like time and so on, within its field it can be a queen or king, but beyond its field where even maya cannot reach is brahman in which there is no maya

46. In this way maya itself is crossed over and one goes beyond maya where maya cannot ever return nor was ever present

47. 

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Sakshi is sat chit ananta

Greater than any worldly Sukha, Dukha alternates is the pure chit. The one who is afraid of the travails and ups and downs of the mithya sharira and experience so sukha and dukha is ajnani alone, as when there is atma jnanam, then the atma is the adhistana chaitanyam, which is all pervasive and the reality of everything.

The reality of everything atma alone shines as wordly sukha, and the hiding of it in the mind acts a wordly dukha. This way the wordly drama is experienced within atma, with atma as the material and maker of it. The name and form knowledge with which atma is the material and maker is non separate from atma, and this reality is mithya reality in which atma is the adhistana and names and forms are the adhyasa. There is no name and form separate from atma, so one need not look for name and form separate from atma. All that is here is atma itself and here the name and form is non separate from atma. But it is to be known that in reality atma does not have any name and form. 

The future may include atma experienced with any sukha or dukha in a world sense, which is a mithya reality. Its beginning and end are also mithya, in fact beginninglessness and endlessness are also mithya. 

So therefore atma alone is there, there is no second. The saguna atma is mithya, that is all to be known. Once saguna atma is known as mithya and nirguna atma as satyam, then we can say that in reality atma is nirguna. And this nirguna need not be known, as what is known falls under knowingness, knowerness, knownness which are mithya , all the three are atma which is neither knower, nor known, nor knowledge, and is self itself.  Nirguna atma is quite clearly nirguna as the knower of all 3 states sakshi chaitanyam, here sakshitvam is also mithya. And here the isvaratvam karanatvam is also mithya, which is abhinna nimitta upadana karanatvam that is also mithya. Since I dont have any of those names or forms I need not search for anything. 

You cannot give up karma

You cannot give up karma, not because you are bound to karma, its because you were and can never be a karta. Karta is mithya, and atma is satyam, satyam is never connected with mithya, mithya is non separate from satyam. Satyam is pure clay. Mithya is pot , jug etc. 

Because the distinction is seen and atma is seen as satyam karma is never a problem. Karta is never a problem. 

The other fact is atma is anantam. Anantam is not a corrolary, its the svarupa of atma.

Its easier to understand sat and chit, atma is, atma is consciousness.

But anantam is a bit involved.

The method is as follows:

You use the shabda pramana to see that atma is anantam. Here the word see refers to understanding directly gained from shabda pramana, other pramanas like pratyaksha and anumana have no access to this understanding that only the shabda praman offers.

The pramana is the meaning of the mahavakya, the mahavakya and its meaning is itself the pramana. Just the eye and its vision (what is seen).

So here meaning of tat tvam asi helps us know atma svarupa is anantam , the word anatam is clarified.

How? By understanding tat pada. Tat pada is isvara lord, who is non separate intelligent and material cause. This lord is obviously satchit, but also this lord is by himself bigger than any bigness.

Imagine all of space, and isvara is the truth about space. Which means isvara is neither inside, nor outside space, in fact space is a derivative of maya the material cause, and this material cause maya is non separate from isvara. This automatically means this isvara is limitless wrt space time as being the very mother of time alongside maya. 
Now being the truth about maya, as maya is mithya, the nature of isvara is then of course anantam. The limitlessness cannot be a property of maya, as maya has no even being of its own. Only a being can have isness, and only what IS can be limitless. As it has to be 'something' to be limitless. Also limitlesness cannot have a limited being as its ashraya or its truth. Therefore the svarupa of isvara is limitless. 

In the tat tvam asi, the jiva, avasta traya sakthi is equated to this limitless existence consciousness that is the satyam, truth about maya sahita isvara, maya sahita isvara being mithya. Jivatvam is also mithya. Negating mithya, at the paramartha - atma is isvara, non dual reality, which is sat chit ananta svarupa, non dual , unchallenged, whole without a second. 

__PRESENT

Om

 Among the earthly mother and the mother of the universe who is more reverential 

It is indeed the earthly mother 

For she beareth in her womb and delivers with pain yet fondles and cries in joy her beloved child 

Accepts their faults and tenders to the child often sacrificing her humanly nature 

The heavenly mother holds all power 

Yet it’s the powerless human mother who fights against all odds

Her love is not just divine , it’s a force untold 

Its a continuation of the umbilical cord

She fed you in the wound , fed you post birth and feeds blessings forever 

Between the heavenly and the earthly mother

The earthly mother wins the battle 

As the greater of the two 

And so would heavenly mother agree 

For it’s her power that manifests as the human mother 

Om tat sat

Standpoints

 From the standpoint of individual and world I am the non dual isvara shakti

From standpoint of truth I am turiyam, here no questions arise

When questions arise I am isvara

When questions arise about my truth, it is said I am turiyam

The dialogue with isvara is seen as dialog with self

I see self itself as isvara

OM

OM

I am brahman

I only appeared as though as a jiva due to error and appeared to undergo transformations in time. In reality I am changeless. Now I appear as this bhakta praying to my own nature as bhagavan. 

OM

The Night of the Brahmastra

The night drew tight her fist; the heavens turned.
No star would look on me; I hid in shame.
Then Kama came, red-handed, crowned with scorn,
And drove me face-first into begging dust.

O depth of depths! My name was filth and loss.
I was a thing unfit to stand or speak.
My shield lay split; my blade forgot its truth.
I crawled, I wept, I cursed my very breath.

I loathed myself. The worms seemed nobler far.
The ground rose high; I lay beneath the low.
Each breath confessed my smallness and my stain.
The wheel rolled on and did not know my name.

No god replied. No dawn would own my cry.
Hope itself turned its face and walked away.
I was undone, unworthy even of fall—
For falling needs a height I did not have.

And there—
Where nothing else would answer,
Where even despair lay spent—
A stillness stood, stark, unsparing, bare.

My Teacher stood within that wordless hush.
He spoke no word; yet all instruction held.
He offered no escape, no promised light—
Only the truth that one last cut remained.

I took the final edge—unborn, uncaused,
Ajati-vada, keen before all time—
Not with hope,
Not with courage,
But because no other thing was left to do.

I did not strike at Kama, nor at self.
I cut the lie that said I was the maker,
That I had borne this world or held its weight.

The cut was clean.
The cut was sufficient.
That stroke itself was Brahmastra entire.

No fire followed.
No echo came.

And in that same plain instant,
Chains failed to close.
No karma found a place to stand.
The wheel stood still for lack of birth.

Kama stood emptied—
Not slain, but finished.

Only then—
Not joy, but breath returned.
Not triumph, but a great unburdening.

From dust I rose, not lifted, but restored.
My kingdom—long usurped—came back to me:
Not land nor throne, but sovereign inner ground,
Where thought obeys and peace stands sentinel.

There was a crown, yet none could see its weight.
There was a joy, yet quiet, firm, and true.
No shout proclaimed it; happiness sufficed—
A settled sun that does not need to blaze.

Now walk I soft upon the narrow rope,
High o’er the dust and clamor of the world.
I rule my step; I answer to the real.
No pride attends me; gratitude alone.

The night did not exalt me—
It returned me to myself.

The fall was dream.
The Teacher stood.
I woke.

The world itself was never born at all.

Borrowed Garments

 

Borrowed Garments

I am a wanderer—
yet still my feet at eventide
return unto the selfsame threshold,
as doth a river,
which though it roam by winding banks
forgets not whence it sprang.

Each day I eat of what doth find me,
as birds that neither sow nor store,
though heaven knows my name
and lays its portion
ever in the same outstretched hand.
I sit with naught held forth,
and yet become the board
where many a silent hunger meets.

I live by what doth come—
by season, weather, hap, and grace—
and still the furrows meet the plough,
the lamps are lit at fall of dusk,
the door unbars when need is ripe.
I keep no reckoning of what I owe,
yet all my hours spend themselves
in quiet service,
as fire gives warmth
and counts it not a gift.

I leave no mark upon the road,
and yet the road grows long behind me.

They say the renouncer owneth naught—
then name me this:
what owns the sky,
that wears all hues
and keeps not one?
I pass through rooms and years
as players pass through borrowed garb,
nor take the costume for the flesh,
nor feel compelled
to lay it down.